Saturday, July 26, 2008

My activities this evening

I'm going to go out and see a Depeche Mode tribute band tonight as well as a Cure tribute band. I'm not sure what to expect. I can't say I like Depeche Mode very much, though their early stuff is okay. I guess I just get sick and tired of so many people worshiping them all the time when I usually find them only slightly better than mediocre. I like the Cure, though, at least up through Disintegration.

I'm also trying very hard to get my alcohol use under control this weekend. I've been sober all day today but very sleepless. There are people who have left my life because of my substance abuse and I think one of the hardest things about getting sober is having to take responsibility for things in the past I cannot change. It's a heavy weight to carry, that guilt. When "sorry" isn't enough anymore, and those people are never coming back no matter how sober I am. But I think in the end, it's about treating myself well and I'm optimistic that I can learn to do that. I'm tired of pushing people away when what I really want is more people in my life.

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